Amongst hordes of emails we people have to reply everyday, one particular friendly-introduction-turned-plight caught my attention. You know how similarly in an entry where I blogged about a moron who wanted to befriend and impress me (as well as a few of my other friends) by sending me a pathetic message on Facebook?

If you missed that,
it’s [here]

But this time, it’s slightly different. It’s an email from a girl residing all the way in Liberia, West Africa. Apparently a victim of war and wants to escape yet has access to the internet to contact me all the way here in Malaysia.

Oh, how tragic. *rolls eyes* Let’s hold hands and have a moment of silence.

Funny how she wants to ‘get to know me if I have the desire for her’ and will ‘send me her picture’ after I reply… for crying out loud! The atrocious photograph above was what she attached in her 2nd email by the way. It goes like this :


In case I accidentally offend anyone, of course, I have no qualms with anyone being homosexual. Their sexual preference is entirely their choice and will, which has nothing to do with me. I only called her a lesbian to emphasize the fact that the person she just contacted happens to be a female – me.

But this is what she replied :

I totally felt like truncating her grandmother story -_-

Yes yes, distance, age or color doesn’t matter… hmm… But do clothes? Nice cropped denim jacket by the way. And how did you get a wonder-ass like that? More bootylicious than Beyonce LOL! But I don’t see her sending me an email asking for friendship. Hmm..

So here comes my very short reply :


But she never understood, did she? I’d give her 5 gold stars for her perseverance and determination. It’s just hilarious how she thinks she can be so close with a person after a brief exchange of emails over the internet and trusts me with her family’s financial legacy!

Oh how sad. I’d donate 2 pails of sympathy to her,
wonder if that’s enough. Come, let’s all shed a tear for her?

Align CenterWhy don’t I give her a finger too?
It comes together with my sympathy in this case. Take it or leave it, woman!

Or better, I could run off with her non-existent 3.8 million US dollars worth of cash and create a money dam and swim in the sea of her cold hard cash just like ol’ Uncle Scrooge always does. How would that sound? πŸ™‚

Whoaaaaaaaaaaa trying to turn me on summore!

*bursts own bubble*
But this was what I replied instead :


So guess what happened after that?
What could she be capable of? *thinks*
Look into her eye and be traumatized mesmerized