Something up

Ladies and jellyspoons,

It is with great pleasure to inform you that there was a smile on my face the whole day! At least I’m happy for myself and my next-of-kin as they were spared from my raging hormones.

I watched my all-time favourite cartoon show- The Lady & the Tramp. It was truly worth smiling as I felt like a 6year old once again. Then, my smile had to begin contorting into a serious poker-face as I was officially invited to join the rest for a spin of Ginrummy, Blackjacks and whatnots. How contradicting- first, I was a 6year old watching animated dogs and bitches conversing in the English Language and now, I’m an 18year old all geared up for some rounds at gambling. *sweat*

Oh yes, before it slips my mind… I had an orange again without spitting out the seeds. =P Reason being:

1.    There was no rubbish bin in my immediate vicinity.

2.    No tissue paper either, within my direct reach of limbs.

3.    No gullible slave for me to boss around to allow me to spit the seeds in her palm.

4.    My tongue muscles were too lazy to ‘feel’ around for the seeds and separate them from its delicious pulps.

5.    My god-forsaken arse was lazier than my tongue; it chose to remain seated in my comfort-zone.

Alright, enough self-criticism. There was an adrenalin rush in me today slightly around after 6pm. This is because we went for a group jog around the neighbourhood. What I despised was, a group of teenage Malays, Indons and gawd-knoes-whad mixture of the Homosapien species they are, were staring at us with their jaws hung open, each time we made past their dilapidated abode. Seriously, it was way beyond a deplorable state of being and thus, should be exiled from planet earth. Fine, I didn’t mean to be so crude. They just bug me. The question is: WHY THE RUDE STARE. Uggh. What I did when it became unbearable was that I stopped dead in my tracks, gave them a bitter glare and folded my and arms right before them. Thankfully, they got the message and shifted their offending eyeballs elsewhere.

It was also a great day for Furby as it embraced liberation for the very first time. Yes, I let him scour my lawn which seemed like a vast green field for a creature its size. Furby’s day out, more of.
awwwwwww.. how cute!

 To make even more exhilarating, I let Furby ride Uncle Mike’s pet Mini Pinscher. The both of them were so afraid of each other! Here, take a look. Don’t they look adorable? =)      

 *groan* Now grandpappy and the crew are at it again- playing Mahjong. And I’m forced to relocate. I wonder why they NEVER get sick of it. Why, it’s the same ol’ routine each time the oldies get together for a family reunion! I thoroughly suggest they go out and play kites or hopscotch or something similar to that of a game. *rofl*

Let me try observing how they play the game.

=——————*@_@*——————=

In all honesty, I find nothing else more interesting about the game than the amusing sight of watching grandpappy’s jiggling arms succumbing to gravity and wobbling freely about, whenever she discards a Mahjong tile. Gosh, I should submit that to YouTube.

          What’s worse than a faux pas, people? It’s when you have a substantial amount of guests all drunk in your very own living room and you happen to be the only one still sober. This was why I understood that Uncle Mike wanted me to feign urgency and ring him up at 9.30pm. Why, so that he can pretentiously tell them that he had to attend to a matter of life and death, which makes it more than obvious that they had to leave immediately.

 Hmm, it’s only 9.11pm now.

I feel like taking a cool shower but what if I don’t get out before 9.30pm? My bad…  but that’s his problem. Whatev-

But hey, doesn’t it seem so vital that I have my cool shower now???

This may seem gory and explicit for general viewing. Parental discretion is advised and not for the faint-hearted. It is illegal for men and women under 99years of age to resume reading this, but don’t even try to get your centenarian ancestors to read it for you. In fact, don’t even read it at all.  Pregnant women (or men) are advised against further reading this text of revolting truth.

READY?

&nbs
p;Actually, it’s nothing to it. I was merely testing your obedience; or lack thereof. What I meant to warn you about was the fact that I haven’t showered all morning, afternoon and night. Plus, I still haven’t showered after all that perspiration from my sweaty evening jog.

One word. Eww.

Gotta ciao now, my bathroom awaits me.

-a stinky Jess