So the Twilight saga has finally come to an end.

That means goodbye to sparkly vampires, expressionless actresses and hunky werewolves.

I was invited to the premiere screening of Twilight : Breaking Dawn Part 2 last night in TGV Cinemas, Sunway Pyramid when it was released in Malaysia (Thanks Josh!)

Brought along buddy Pamela as my plus one for the movie premier

If you remember from Part 1, leading vampire couple Edward Cullen and Bella Swan bore themselves a beautiful daughter, a girl who is half-vampire and half-mortal.

In Part 2, a significant chunk of the storyline revolves around their hybrid offspring, Renesmee, the consequences of her existence, gathering vamp troops to defend themselves from the Volturi.

Bella, Edward and their daughter, Renesmee

What really intrigued me was how the Cullens managed to hunt down vamps from all corners of the globe; they had such a racially diverse & multi-ethnic troop with heavy, distinguishable accents! 

Our familiar Northern American and Italian vampires were cast alongside Middle Eastern vamps, Indian vamps, Japanese vamps, tribesfolk vamps, Amazonian vamps, Russian vamps, Eastern European vamps, and Icelandic vamps slathered with face-powder so thick they look like an aftermath of Botox gone wrong 

My favorite part of the movie was the bloodshed and war between the Cullens VS the Volturi. There was so much action, gore and violence!

Think decapitations, ripping of limbs, tearing open mouths and more.

The Cullens gather against the Volturi

However, a mind blowing twist in the plot happened towards the end of said action-packed scene which left us viewers frustrated and shell-shocked. Everyone in the cinema was speechless and burst into laughter.

I too, was flabbergasted and could only manage a as I felt so tricked!

The photo above is a hint 

Also, is it just me or is Alice Cullen really drop dead gorgeous in the movie? She has this aura of mystery engulfing her dark, gothic look whenever she speaks! Love her. My fave Cullen of all 
Ultimately, I managed to watch my hunky Jacob Black in action 

There was one hilarious part in the woods where he stripped for an elderly man (Not in a sexual way, don’t worry… but I won’t tell you who!) which got the whole theatre giggling.

Jacob, oh, you sexy beast!

Despite taking his shirt off only once to reveal his rippling muscles and his body of a tank – much to many Team Jacob girls’ disappointment – watching him in character was good enough for me.

Can you turn into a werewolf one more time for me, please? 

Apart from Jacob & Alice Cullen, my favorite parts were Aro’s dramatic expressions. 

Though I’m not a fan, I found Twilight : Breaking Dawn Part 2 to be a wonderful conclusion to the whole Twilight saga  It was great to see all the characters again for one last time.

But its sappy dialogue, hyperbolic expressions and unnecessary vampire romance sex scenes (in slow motion, no less!) upstaged the touching storyline, cryptic scenes, family values, action-packed parts and funny punchlines. I give this movie a 3 out of 5. 

An epic finale to the never-ending Twilight hype (finally, ey?), you’d be a fool not to watch – yes, even if you dislike the series 
For the rest of you who do, enjoy the show, Twi-hard fans & sparkly vamps! 

So!

I had to insert the word 'female' before the word 'strippers' in the title above to avoid confusion. Also, partly because my previous post on strippers were boys – none other than the dashing, erotic and world-famous Chippendales male strippers.

Most of my male readers were remotely disappointed upon learning that they weren't female strippers I was talking about.

But yeah, this time. It pretty much is.

But no, it's not us.

Ruby and I were just camwhoring while waiting for the rest to get ready

On Ruby's birthday, we decided to go to a strip club downtown Melbourne.

Since I've never been to one before, I thought, "hey, why not. Let's see what this is really like."

My gurls and I

Let's make this night one to remember! 🙂

So we dressed up, dolled up, sharpened up and put our best foot forward before setting off to the city

My Ne-Yo and I

We headed up to a bar-club first to grab a few drinks, down some shots and dance a few hours away.

Only then will be be smashed enough to rock up at the strip club. (and hopefully enjoy it better)

At Amber Lounge, along Lonsdale Street

Prepare for a night of mayhem!

It has been a long, long, LONG time since I've ever danced up high on the podium… letting go of everything with no reservations, feeling liberated, carefree and letting my hair down. Girls just want to have fun! 😀

In Ozzieland, people don't really give a a rats ass about extreme things; but instead, came up to join us.

Tequila shots shots shots shots shots shots shots… EVERYBODY!

Keep downing drinks like this~
Not tomorrow that just right now, now, now, now, now, now~

Gonna set the roof on fire~

Also, I made a short video of us skulling our shots

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N54P6vgUHLw

Happy Birthday Ruby 🙂 Hope you had a blast

Oh and.. we were in for some nasty fun later… ready?

(Ok oddly enough, we kinda look naked in the above photo)

Anyway, no photography was allowed in Dreams Gentlemens Club.

But if you've been reading me long enough, clearly, I have never given a rats ass about this reg in particular 🙂 And I'm technically a tourist, what better reason to introduce new things to my peeps back home?

So, out comes the sneaky stealth-like photos!

But surely, you can't expect photos of perfect quality when a tipsy girl is

  taking Blackberry photos in hush-hush, can you?

Besides, I didn't want them to be recognized nor blow their identity

I just wanted to show you a teeny bit of what I've experienced for the 1st time

If you want more, why not visit Dreams yourself? 🙂

We were there for some 3 good hours

And since it was her birthday, Ruby deserved a private lap-dance!

They were really professional, without a doubt

A no-kissing policy on this stage too, methinks

It also reminds me of the movies where men would slit cash in their underwear. Hot!

And that's not all! Here's the sneaky video that the birthday girl Ruby shot on her cellphone 🙂

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLpvUsDQReM

Blurry but you can still make out the silhouette of the naked chick doing her thang

We hope you enjoyed your private strip dance, Ruby!

haha and here's me putting on a ridiculous cock-eyed-doll-eyed look for the fun of it

Thank God the week is done~
I feel like a zombie gone back to life~
 back, back to life~

Hands up, and suddenly we all got our hands up~
No control of my body~

Ain’t I seen you before?
I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes~

Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again~
Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again~
So dance, dance, like it’s the last, last night of your life~

Gonna get you right~
Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again~

Keep downing drinks like this~
Not tomorrow that just right now, now, now, now, now, now~

Skull it! rar rar rar!

Happy Birthday again, Ruby. We're glad you were smashed haha!

By the wee hours of the morning, we have had enough and halted our night to an end 🙂

Another one of my weekend nights well spent. It's almost therapeutic to let loose some steam especially after enduring weekdays after days of hard knocks. I thrive on parties of any kind. It rejuvenates me to tackle the week ahead!

I'm sure Obama will be proud! (or… not?) 😛

After my weekend is said and done in the city, Sunday evenings are usually spent speeding back

to Churchill, Gippsland where I belong for the week LOL

Kon and I heading back home to Gippy, all aboard the V-Line train.

"All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy"

Or in this case, "makes Jess a dull girl". So now that I have had my dosage of fun, it's back to business and in all seriousness, 2nd round of studies and assignments begins NOW.

Pronto!

If ANY of you do not know who or what the Chippendales are, you obviously haven't done your natural, inhibited selves a huge favour.

*winks* They're world-famous and tickets to watch them LIVE costs a few high hundreds!

During the weekend when I was in Singapore for the Formula One Grand Prix race, I was thrilled to know that there was a free Chippendales showcase ongoing. WATCH ALL THE VIDEOS I CAPTURED BELOW, OKAY? 😀

When the show began, it kicked off with energetic and macho dance routines… all in perfect coordination and timing!

It's the cowboys from the era of the Wild Wild West!

There's just something about watching very masculine men pumping to the beat of the strong bass.

And I like tattoo-ed men.

This touring company of male erotic performers come from across the globe, in all SHAPES AND SIZES (Yes, I'm insinuating something. Go figure) There were Caucasians, Africans, Asians, Europeans and other exotic mixed races.

So much breakdancing, crumping, popping, locking and dropping!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo0ZJwOTnWg

Usher's OMG with these sexy thangs in formal attire

Their well choreographed stunts were amazing! Those hip hop moves certainly found their way into these men's muscular and very flexible bodies.

Yes take that shirt off for us, hotstuff 😉

Touch yourself in places, we cant!

Errr.. yes. Something like that 😉

(Sans the clothes)

The Chippendales did not only just dance, but they sang as well. Very well, in fact!

Here's my fave video of the night. Hunky, topless & muscular men performing to Akon's Sexy Bitch (some striptease!)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zxzzU5hJuQ

Love their dance and Bryan Chan in his F1 racer suit!

Popular songs such as Down by Jay Sean, Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5, Hero by Enrique Iglesias, OMG by Usher, among the many others too

Their role-play was simply top notch as well! Astounding, if I do say so myself.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKFcZs7o394

Buffy aircraft cleaners, anyone? 🙂

So much so that I wonder if my gardener, butler is secretly as hot as them underneath their immaculate uniforms? Their clandestine self intrigues me. Hmmmm… 😉

MAKE WAY FOR THE PILOT, CAPTAIN OF YOUR FLIGHT TONIGHT!

So… when smart and desirable pilots in their full uniform slowly take everything off one by one, what happens?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cugjUMtR5c

Down till their American flag boxers babeh!

Among the roleplays they presented were pilots, lumberjacks, carpenters, firemen, janitors, construction workers, policemen, cowboys and lots more.

Ya know those typical masculine jobs 😀 😀

Construction workers HARD at work with their tools of trade

Obviously, throughout all their singing and dance routines, they weaved in their expertise to complete this full-blown show.

Little by little, they take a bit of their clothes off. Teasing and igniting your senses until they're down to their undergarments.

I've honestly never sat in a concert hall with this amount of immense screaming and cheering by the ladies before!!!

A STRIPTEASE AND EROTIC MALE DANCING was on the prowl!!

Seriously ladies, do yourselves a favour and watch them LIVE if you can. You'll feel more of a woman after that!

You don't know so many ladies volunteering to go up on stage with them when these hunky men asked for a representative of the crowd.

Such irresistible eye candies at your pleasure.

Have an open mind and embrace your natural instincts, I implore you.

And, if you think all these are too explicit for you to compute, I'm so very sorry that you don't have normal, healthy female hormones.

Every girl has her fantasy, likewise, every man. If men can treat themselves to a collection of erotic material and be proud of it, I don't see why straight girls can't indulge in this and celebrate their sexuality as well!

The Chippendales are professionals and they perform excellently at what they do.

Do you see your man doing this in bed to turn you on and ignite your senses? Pffftt.

So shut up, sit back and relax.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2xFyc7B2P8

Howzabout hotstuffs in glow in the dark underwear spreading luminous paint all over themselves?

Loosen up and acknowledge that femme fatale in you. Muahahaha. And while you're at it, ride that cowboy. Yeeeeee hawww!

And I'm not only speaking for the ladies, gay men… REJOICE!! :D Coz this post is for you too.

It's really fun to see such an attractive man all fully (and well) dressed with a coat, vest, tie and fedora….

……..bare it all down to nothing but a kinky bowtie and skin.

OBVIOUSLY he has jeans on in this photo la!

The best bits are meant to be watched LIVE with your very own eyes.

They're indeed one talented bunch, hats off to them! (or clothes? :P)

A STANDING ovation, in every sense of the word. Thanks again, Maxis & Lotus Racing

To save the best for last, here's a permanent fixture I'd see on my bedside every night *winks*

(yes I was given a framed-up hardcopy)

And these were the words my favorite one said to me – "How're doing baby? Bet you loved our show didn't you? Come park your ass right here on my lap."

I think I just died and went to heaven.