oh.. im finally back to civilisation… after 2whole months of pressure. yeah, dat cud explain the obvious reason why i wasnt bloggin 4tha past two months…

well, truth to tell.. these 2months had taught me much. It taught me the true meaning of determination, pressure, optismism, friendship, time management, good plannings and so much more. Unfortunately, after gaining all these experience.. my guiding life is over. Yes.. over for good. No more going back to camps as a participant. Just a visitor. No more strolling down the Corronation Campsite route anymore. No more carving names on the Hutmentss. No more rolling myself in the mud… with flour streaked hair and egg- yolk. No more sawing, splitting and tying gadgets n gsateways. no more digging holes. My tears are flowing as i type this… im being honest n true. No more getting drenched in the heavy rain and getting dried in the blazing sun on and off. No more of it.. no more dancing and acting stupid juz 4the sake of the sketch. No more bbq and campfire nights with the same society in the QD anymore… its the end.

How many people in 10 wud spend their holidays working and getting burnts and cuts>? How many ppl in 100 wud sacrifice their sleep and time workin hard to achieve a cheap plastic throphy>? How many ppl wud want to climb atop a 12 feet gateway juz to tie a banner? Oh God…. i kant stop ma tears now. My life as a guide meant more then any tough cruelty in the world.. its priceless. No, i assure u.. its not a cliche. For all these 8 camps ive been.. its not enuff. Evry single camp taught me sumthing new… the mistakes i made. I ve learnt not to repeat them.

These scout camps had made me come to realise that determination will surface the deepest oceans and emerge the victor. For all the times i was on the edge of breakin down and on the verge of giving up. i ask myself, is it worth doing that? the answer is no. The apparition of the Best Overall Champion throphy will come into ma vision each time i wanted to turn my back n leave. Its the importance of true spirit and focus that will lead u down the path of glory. And of course, skill and punctuality.

Now that it is all over, confessions of a young and naive gurl will come to light. My biggest crush was also in camp. I was head over heels over that guy. He was the cutest guy ive seen… the guy that wowed me with his cheekiness and jovial character. Each lashing i tied, i wud look up at him and there he was.. i wud peek over the bushes juz to catch a glimpse at the one who had my jumpy lil heart. That was how i once felt. Was i in love?> No, certainly not. But i never knew that of course… not at that moment- 2years ago. Then at gatherings, i saw him again. Nothing cud bring me down. i wuz on cloud nine by juz looking at him happy… wishing he cud juz talk to me.. or juz a simple hello. The simple attraction made me lost 4words. that was how an innocent lil vulnerable kid i was.. so gullible n yet so brave. Soon, my heart shattered when i knew he belonged to another. Ma insides cried in pain… i soon pcked myself up n moved on.Now, years later, im his friend . each time i look at him, i chuckled in silence… to actually think i was so crazy over him. silly old me.

In my guiding life, i also found my true love. That simple-yet-complicated fact will be indellible thruout time n space. Without that camp, there will be no us.. no Benjica combo. To think of whose hand will i be holding now, whose warmth will i share now and whose future will i build with if not for him>? The man i truly love with all my heart.. thank u God for having our paths crossed.

Thats not all… throughout my guiding life, ive sustains many cuts, rashes,grazes, burns, blisters and u name it, i have it. Looking at it now makes me wonder how did i bring myself to think tat it was all worth it. My youth. My life. My experience. The life that hovers before… heralding a new me.. the new Jess now. Different frm that lil kid ya see running to the telly to watch pokemon. It moulded me into sum one independant and disciplined… some one that sees the importance of risks and chances. A parable of tha monopoly game.. each space u land on depends on the roll of your dice. Each return u receive depends on the money u invested. And when u win, u beam with pride…. but when u lose, u will be overturned upside down inside out with bankcruptcy. Just like guiding life.. each risk u take determines the next step u make in life.

it has all come to an end. Application of the lessons i learnt; no more in camp. Much to learn i still have, much to see i still shud. SPM is 11months away… and to thank my family and boyfriend for all the support theyve given me in all these past camps, i promise to give u 11a’s for spm. After that, its a vast open field ahead… the grass is alwiz greener on the other side.. hence tempted i shall not be. Well, thats a different story now.. to leave for the future Jess in me to imprint. Right now, i live my life i have now thus appreciating every single second God gave me to breathe.

And now, standing beside me is something i alwiz wanted to have since years before. Losing last year made me return with the burning desire to win this camp. The only reason why i came back prepared and ready to win with pride and effort. The Best Overall Champion throphy. Darling, ur not just made outta cheap plastic. U weigh much more than that.. u weigh effort and desire. This throphy is for everyone of u who helped and supported us thru the journey of winning CTC 2005. Thank u…. God bless u all. U’ll see me again next year…and years to come. Love yall.