Dear readers, please ignore the following rants. DON’T BOTHER READING COS IT’S TOO ANGRY & NOT GOOD FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION. It’s totally personal but I just had to vent this all out & express my frustration but there’s no better outlet of solace than my very own blog. So here goes :

FOCK IT HARD. FOCK IT REAL HARD. IT’S 6.17AM IN THE BLOODY MORNING NOW & I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE ROW WITH MOM FROM 4AM TILL NOW. IF IT DOESN’T SUCK AS MUCH ALREADY THAT I’M GONNA MISS THE FOCKING MTV WORLD STAGE IN SUNWAY ALL BECAUSE OF MY GODDAMN GRADUATION, IT’S FINE BY ME. WOT FOCKIN CHOICE DO I HAVE? IT’S MY COLLEGE GRADUATION. TECHNICALLY, I CAN’T AFFORD TO MISS SUCHA THING RIGHT? BUT THE LEAST I COULD HOPE FOR WAS TO ATTEND 2 MORE IMPORTANT EVENTS WHICH I WAS INVITED FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.

BUT GUESS WHAT. MOM INSISTED I LEAVE BACK TO PENANG IN THE MORNING. I STAYED UP TILL LATE IN DILEMMA PLANNING ALL NIGHT TO THINK OF WAYS OF HOW I COULD GO BACK AFTER THOSE EVENTS, BE IT BY FLIGHT, BY NIGHT BUS OR WITH THE HELP OF A DEAR FRIEND OF MINE. AND I MADE THE CUT! I MANAGED TO FIND ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE SUCCESSFULLY. I WAS OVERJOYED.

BUT NNNNNNNNNNO. MOM FURIOUSLY FOCKED ME UP OVER THE PHONE WHEN I TOLD HER MY CONTINGENCY PLANS AND YELLED TILL I COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. IN TEARS AND DEEP RELUCTANCY, I RELENTED. YEAH, I FOCKIN RELENTED. AND NOW, I’M SUPPOSED TO MISS ALL 3 IMPORTANT EVENTS WHICH I FOCKIN WANTED TO ATTEND SO BADLY.

ALL BECAUSE OF A COLLEGE GRADUATION CEREMONY PLUS A REHEARSAL? SOME OF MY SENIORS AND OTHER COLLEGE GRADUATES NEVER ATTENDED THEIRS ANYWAY. I KEEP SUCKIN IT IN & TELLING MYSELF THAT IT ONLY HAPPENS ONCE – THAT I SHOULD LOOK FORWARD TO IT. I WANT TO.. I REALLY WANT TO. BUT AT THE BACK OF MY HEAD LIES SO MUCH THOUGHTS OF REMORSE THAT I’LL BE MISSING THOSE THINGS & WON’T BE ABLE TO BE PART OF IT THIS TIME ROUND. I LIVE FOR EVENTS. I LIVE AND BREATHE ATTENDING, SHOOTING & BLOGGING ABOUT THESE KINDA THINGS I’M INVITED FOR. IT’S A PASSION. AND I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO AT LEAST ATTEND PART OF IT ALBEIT NOT ALL.

BUT I NEVER SAID I WAS GONNA MISS MY GRADUATION DID I? I GAVE MY WORD AND I SAID I’LL MAKE IT BACK IN TIME BY HOOK OR BY CROOK. I’VE MAXIMIZED ALL ALTERNATIVES AND THINGS MANAGED TO FALL CAREFULLY INTO PLACE ALREADY. BUT NO, YOU HAD TO RUIN IT ALL.

FML I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW. AND NOW I’VE GOT LOTSA EXPLAINING TO DO TO THAT FRIEND OF MINE WHOM CAREFULLY HELPED ME PLAN MY ROUTE BACK & ANOTHER GOOD FRIEND AS WELL FOR THE INVITES. NOW WHAT? IT’S ALL GONE DOWN THE DRAIN. I’M LEAVING FOR PENANG IN THE MORNING WITH MOM. AND I’M CERTAIN I WON’T SPEAK A WORD THROUGHOUT THE 5 HOUR JOURNEY. SIMPLY BECAUSE I’VE NOTHING MORE TO SAY. PERIOD. OH AND DON’T REMIND ME THAT I CAN’T ATTEND THE MTV WORLD STAGE. JUST DO NOT FOCKIN BRING THAT UP. TO MY BUDDIES ATTENDING, DO ME A FAVOUR AND ENJOY YOURSELVES 🙁

edit :

I read back what I said.. and yeah so, that was how I felt 2 hours ago. Well, now that I’ve calmed down & thought over, let’s just say that we can never get the best of both worlds. Things sometimes can never go your way. Life is full of shit at times so what else can everyone do but to flush it all down the sewer and live with it? FML

things will be better. I hope.
It can’t get any worse anyway

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