Being here in Australia for the past half a year (well, almost) and considerably one of the only Asians within my bunch of mates had led me to see Asian stereotypes in a much clearer picture.
Try being a "victim" of their racist jokes LOL. But rest assure, my mates mean well, after all we do occasionally throw racist remarks around at each other anyway.
I never really understood Asian stereotypes previously, but now I do – at my expense, of course! -__-"
So I've compiled a list for no good reason. Here's the ones I recall :
1. You can afford to be cute, 'cos you're Asian.
So one evening when I was taking a break from final exam revisions, I decided to procrastinate to do something a little more interesting.
Which somehow, led me to play with my hair and I tied up 2 tiny pigtail buns at the top of my head.
The moment I came out to the lounge room looking like that my mates were gushing about how "cute" I looked tonight and one of them said, "Yeah, she can afford to be cute, she's Asian".
2. You know the exact moment when the rice is cooked, 'cos you're Asian
My mates were trying to cook rice for dinner and couldn't tell whether or not if the rice was cooked or ready to be eaten yet.
"Why don't you as ask Jess? She's Asian; she will know"
Try putting it in your mouth instead of asking Jess?
3. You must have some herbal remedies/medicines, 'cos you're Asian
One of my mates was having a splitting headache and/or cough-flu-fever if I remember correctly
"Go ask Jess for some herbal remedy for your sore throat, she's Asian, she would know"
Sorry wrong number, no I don't.
Go swallow a bucket of Strepsils kthxbai.
4. You might kill me with your kung-fu, 'cos you're Asian
We were all fooling around one day and were talking about self-defense and martial arts
"Don't piss Jess off, she's Asian and she might kill you with her kung-fu"
I may not know kung-fu, but I jolly well know Imma kick you in
the groins if I hear another Asian stereotype
5. Your eyes must be small and slitty-slanty, 'cos you're Asian.
Long, long time ago when I first arrived all dressed up and fashionably dolled up .. etc, I overheard someone say, "I don't think she's Asian. Asians have black hair… hers is red and her eyes are huge". Firstly, haven't you heard of hair dye?
What a wanker. If I don't look Asian, what do I look like? Dumbfug.
Also, many a time when my mates and I were randomly talking, about racial heritages, languages or countries and such, I usually get a random remark like this, "You know, Jess. Your eyes are pretty huge for an Asian" Right… thanks a lot.
Konzy trying to make me look more Asian than I already am
But but…. I'm NOT your slitty-slanty eyed Asian girl
6. You must be good at Math, 'cos you're Asian
My mates and I were at a restaurant eating dinner and we each wanted to calculate how much we were supposed to pay, per person.
What's $78.95 divided by 6? Don't know… "Ask Jess to count, she should be good at it 'cos she's Asian"
Look, try a calculator next time?
It sure knows the exact amount, but it isn't Asian.
7. You must be a spy from Beijing, 'cos you're Asian.
Yes because I'm out to get White Capitalist scumbags like you.
Watch out, I can see you with my small slit eyes! I will throw chopsticks at you and bury you alive with my MahJong tiles.
All in all, it's funny actually, in the name of a good laugh! Stereotypes are meant to be funny, so laugh at yourselves and think up some White stereotypes to poke back at them the next time you're made fun of
In the meantime, make me a cup of Chinese Tea. Also…
BRING HONOUR TO YOUR FAMILY AND MARRY A RICH TYCOON!
Why? Well, simply because… you're Asian.