Photoshop – TheJessicat

Killed and buried? I doubt it. Who really says Osama bin Laden is dead?

May 3, 2011 by thejessicat

To be honest, who kills the worlds most wanted man, announces it overnight and then keep everything else under the wraps?

That certainly wasn't the way they had Saddam Hussein killed or any other big-time criminal.

Yeah so apparently, he took a bullet in the head in a 40 minute battle in his own lair in Abbottabad, Pakistan.

Ever believe in regeneration? Yeah, there's two of them now.

Just for the lols.

I changed my profile picture on Facebook to a rather odd-looking version of Osama bin Laden for the fun of it. And as expected, it garnered itself much attention and humour from my friends who saw it.

Ohai. Told yu my eyes more mesmerizing

And coincidentally, Kon had a picture of Osama as his profile picture too – albeit a glorious, proper portrait of him – not one of ridicule.

So I figured print screening us talking to each other on chat would be comical!

Okay, jokes aside.

Whether or not they say he's dead or had his body – according to the Herald Sun – "secretly buried at sea", I certainly do not believe his dead. Would you believe some heavily mediated news and announcements without any proof?

impressive digital manipulation

Where's the DNA test that certifies that it is indeed him? Any credible sources? Obama's speech?

Some n00b photoshopped photo of his bleeding head? Sorry, they don't convince me.

Because his "dead" bloody photo is exactly the same as the one shot of him during a speech

I wouldn't like my dead self to uncannily resemble my face when I'm in a good mood talking.

After all, he's also known for being the world's most famous hide & seek man. What gives?

His death doesn't symbolize the death of terrorism anyway. Hurrah! Way to go.

late, but theres always 15 days!

January 26, 2009 by thejessicat

Hope you people celebrating Chinese New Year had a great reunion dinner & for those who ain’t celebrating had an awesome holiday!

Here’s to wishing my readers –

I’ve had an awesome Chinese New Year, the BEST ever in my life. What about you peeps?

Thank you, so much~!

My production of : the modern Mary Poppins musical!

January 8, 2009 by thejessicat

*drumroll*

FINALLY! The KayElle Episode 4 is up, and it’s the grand finale! ^_^

Following :
[Episode One]
[Episode Two]
[Episode Three]

Since this it’s gonna be the final episode to wrap it all up, imma make it summin’ special

Are you ready for a Broad-est-Way Musical? XD

Introducing the cast :
Jess, Shar and AhBern!

PLEASE SWITCH OFF YOUR CELLPHONES
AND DON’T FORGET YOUR POPCORN!

As the teaser depicts, episode 4 is about a muscial that I’ve created,
aptly named the Ah-Bern Poppins!

Jessica and Sharlyn met up in MidValley for a game of bowling, to determine who is entitled for the VIP tickets for the AhBern Poppins Musical. The one which has the most number of strikes will emerge as the winner.

So, let the games begin!

But alas, the both of us had the same amount of strikes.

So, we decided to share the love and go together, that’s us on our longest journey for the much anticipated modern-classic musical.

~Like a shooting star~~ ~I can go the distance~~ ~I will search the world~~ ~For the Poppins Musical~~ ~I don’t care how far~~ ~I can go the distance~~

[adapted from ‘Go the Distance’]

so here we are waiting and lining up for the Ah-Bern Musical.

~So Ah-Bern we will waaaaaiit for you~~ ~Cos I don’t know what else we… can.. do~~~~

[adapted from ‘Wait for You’]

And decided to grab a few bites down @Kenny Rogers

~Mamamama-Fiiinnnn I’m Lovin’ It~~

[adapted from ‘I’m Lovin’ It]

I wonder whose extra hand is that? *gasp*

Could Ah-Bern Poppins possibly flew down with his mighty umbrella to join us for our humble meal?

^_^

Producer Jessica Tan met up with Mr. Ah-Bern Poppins and she de-masculine-ed him with accessories such has lovely ol’ victorian sunhats and tophats!

~Pretty Ah-Bern~~ ~Walking down the street~~ ~Pretty Ah-Bern~~ ~The kind I’d like to meet~~

[adapted from the ‘Pretty Woman’ soundtrack]

Ta-daaaa! Now, he’s all prepped up to meet Mary!
(not the one with the little lamb whose fleece was white as snow)

And through fate and destiny, Ah-Bern Poppins met the love of his life – the famous Mary Poppins atop a rooftop in London overlooking the Big Ben!

~We’re on the top of London lookin~~ ~Down on creation and the only explanation I can find~~~ ~It’s the lovvvve that I found ever since you’ve been around~~ ~Your love’s put me at the top of London~~

[adapted from ‘Top of the World’]

Unfortunately, Mary Poppins was a husband dominator. She dragged him around and across the globe to everywhere she flew to, and even when her tiny umbrella can’t carry the both of them.

So Ah-Bern Poppins couldn’t stand Mary anymore. So he mary-ied another woman and another woman and another woman behind Mary’s back. (pun intended)

Womanizer~ Woman-Womanizer~~ You’re a womanizer~~ Oh Womanizer~~ Oh You’re a Womanizer Ah-Bern~~ You, You You Are~~ You, You You Are~~ Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer~~

[adapted from ‘Womanizer’]

Producer Jessica Tan fired him from the job as the leading actor from her musical as he caused the supporting actress Mary Poppins heartbreak and pain.

Cause she’s brooooooooooooken~~ when she’s lonnnnnnnnnesome~~ and she don’t feeeeeeeel right~~ when Ah-Bern go awaaaaaaaay~~

[adapted from ‘Broken’]

And strangled him to his near-death.

~I might as well take a gun and put it through his head~~ ~Get it over with~~ ~I don’t wanna do thisss~~ ~I don’t wanna be…. a murdererrr~~

[adapted from ‘Unfaithful’]

So, Mary Poppins flew away via her beloved umbrella and left poor Ah-Bern Poppins all alone with his umbrella and the memories of her black flowery hat.
Oh and, he grew boobs waiting for her return.

~So delicious (It’s hot hot)~~
So delicious (I put them boys on rock rock)~~
So delicious (They want a slice of what I got)~~
I’m Booobalicious (t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty)~~

[adapted from ‘Fergalicious’]

Thank you all for watching and singing along to this maiden musical of mine, don’t forget your belongings when you leave the theaters

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

*curtains fall*

Kay Elle Episode 3!

January 6, 2009 by thejessicat

Singapore Episode 2 flooding the next post! PROMISE!

But today, it’s time to continue the Kay Elle episode I owe yall. Yes, with my couzzies pestering me to publish this first.. I can’t help but to stop them from nagging XP

Today was something like a family day. Not family, FAMILY day of course.. but a day spent with itsy bitsys of the focker family.

Before I begin, this is Lyss (right) and I. ^_^

missing ya babe! Glad we met since…. Err.. Chinese New Year?! ROFL We had plenty to talk and gossip about ey? *winks* LOL

And over a cuppa coffee, nothin’ beats it. *hugs*

Anyway, check out this formal-ish photograph of us couzzies.

HAAHAA finally, a new ‘portrait’ photo to replace the darn kiddy one taken in year 2000. So yeah, that’s us couzzies in Starbucks

On our way to Bkt. Bintang,

we stopped by to take yet another photograph

^_^

It didn’t help that it was raining cats and dogs all afternoon. And the water pipe burst! Free car wash anyone? hahhahha

Our dinner was in Pancake House International, Josh happened to join us as well. The food there was pretty good! Hmm.. but somehow I prefer my fave Paddington House of Pancakes!

Candid shot of these two clowns

I had frothy lemonade!

And all of us indulged in savoury pancakes with maple syrup.

Want a bite?

Shopping came soon after that in Pavillion and being the camwhore couzzies, you get this. Especially the one in the striped top, he’s the lamest of us all XD

His hands were biogically formed that way

As our movie ‘Quarantine’ was scheduled really late, we headed down to Bukit Bintang street for some shisha. For those not in the know, it’s a kind of aromatic and flavoured way of puffing in the Middle East.

And gawd, shisha-ing before ‘Quarantine’ was really a horrid, horrid decision. I felt like puking. Have u watched it? That movie is already capable of making anyone nauseate, let alone after our shisha. *grumbles*

Oh and yay! My Christmas present from the ambulance ^_^

Look at couzzie Meng’s starfish and kiddy bedsheet.

(omg he’s gonna kill me for this)

Barcelona was next for the night.

And it was jam-packed with fun and party people. Couzzie Meng and Shaun’s friends were there too!

The more the merrier! But while waiting for our turn to go in, I camwhored with the Heineken Christmas tree =)

AND the mamak guy! See my finger up his nostril?

Strangely, we had THE GODFORSAKEN MOST EXPENSIVE MAMAK IN THE FRIGGIN HUGE-ASS WORLD! -_-“

Did you know how much a nasi lemak in Stevens cost?

Yeah. 8 bucks! I could get ANY nasi lemak for the price of 1.50 bucks! Hahaha. Seriously!

The worst part was the very next day when we got home. We were locked outside for a couple of hours! *stares directly Couzzie Meng*

HE FORGOT THE HOUSE KEYS!!

!@#$%^&*%#!

How does it feel like to burn in the 1pm sun and at the same time have your bladder almost giving way? Hellish.

Thanks for letting me bunk over your place doofus! Ya bet I’ll do the same when yall come to Penang. *hugggggs*

Stay tuned for episode 4 (final) of the KayElle trip.

Think : a male/guy/man/boy/ in Old English Victorian Hats and in the Mary Poppins look! With umbrella hook stuck in his nose! WHO? WHO?

Kay Elle episode two!

January 1, 2009 by thejessicat

Yes, I’m blogging from Singapore now and I’ve had a whole lotta fun! And so much to share with you peeps! But still, a promise is a promise. ^_^

Tick Tock goes the clock.. and as I promised, here’s the 2^nd Episode of my Kay Elle trip!

We all headed to Sunway Pyramid and those who accepted my DDR challenge was TomatoChris and Josh.

The DDR peeps

Wuahahhha I was drenched in perspiration during and after DDR as always – just like when Benjie and I have our DDR Marathons. *coughs* One day, just you wait Benjie.. I will be better than you Mr. Sifu! ^_^

Tried this on and many others just for the fun of it

I just love shopping in Sunway Pyramid for one reason and one reason only – they have awesome statement tees! Yeah, those attitude tees as some call it. meloves.

Whilst walking aimlessly into the bathroom to freshen up, I caught sight of this very interesting signage.

In the TOILET of all places, the place where one excretes foul deposits or either releases their number ones and twos. WHY would I ever want to improve my taste and smell senses here?

Tomatochris suggested bowling in One Utama, to which I gladly obliged. Whee~! I’ve always loved bowling but was never exceptionally any good at it. LOL

Broken nails. Darn.

!@#$%&*!%$#

I believe my aforementioned lack of bowling skills is now proven.

>_<

Ahahaahha as many of my readers would k
now,

T – tomato

E – emyisei (524)

P – pommmmmpommmmm

Anyway, on the way back, we spotted this very peculiar white bundle in the middle of the carpark.

When inspected closer, OHHHMIIIGOOODNESSS it was a used baby diaper which obviously reeked, to which I assume has been left there for a considerable amount of time. -___-“

The very next day, we had a lunch gathering in The Curve. It was rather amusing to mingle about with the gang, and to camwhore kaw-kaw (translation for the benefit of my non-chinese readers: Hokkien slang for doing something in an extreme manner) with every silly bit of them all.

Like wtf

POOR POOR Chris.

Kena tertarik

Pity stepson YingYang wasn’t there to join us so…

here’s something I’ve spotted for ya!

Bangga or not?

(if not bangga, i won’t send you to tumbletots)

The food at Kim Gary was palatable as it always had been, and check out the mega-eater of us all.

Hmm.. that’s quite a humongous bowl for quite a small person XD

I had
my fave Unagi & Seafood Cheese-Baked rice. Whee~

Les-partner Cathy and I tried to capture a decent picture of ourselves only to be obstructed by a green-eyed someone.

AHAHAHAAHAHA You’ll get your turn boy, line up XD

Jealous TW?

Remember when I mentioned in Episode One [here] about my incestuous family? Ahahahahah yes, the one that gays with their stepfathers and fathers. Well, I guess this is Exhibit B of the public displays of affection in this one big family of bloggers ~♥