Teddy Tales is back : Episode Two!

Well well, I’m here again. Mommy’s been busy lately with all her photoshoots and events. Somehow I wish she could bring me along but obviously, her colleagues will laugh at her.. for I am a teddy.

So what?
I love being at home.
Especially when mommy leaves her headphones behind

Oh but wait. I heard there’s an animal party coming soon. Hmmm.. I wonder if admission includes teddies too? I hope mommy covers that event instead of the lame Hennessy Artistry 🙁

I’ll just be waiting for her to blog about it. Shhhh don’t tell mommy I peeked at her bloggy. AND SIGNED IN TO HER ACCOUNT TO BLOG TOO!

Anyway, if she goes to that event, I’ll just be waiting for her to come home. In the meantime, I could just fool around with mommy’s brand new headphones again. But but but.. I don’t like the punk, goth and emo rock songs she listens too.

Oh My.
They’re waay to big for me!
/cries

Anyway, mommy went rock climbing just now with a good friend of hers. I think his name is Zhao. Hey, she should consider bringing me there too. Cos he brought his teddy along!! Not fair at all! Like hello? I’m a bear, and I think i should naturally be able to climb rocks.. no?

Theres like, five of them under the weather already.
You know who yall are.

And to one of my good friends Tze Lih, who’s not sick but really emo & down in the dumps. Don’t let negative things get the better of you yeah? And stop saying FML already, you rock ahpek and you know we love you! You’ll always have us! xoxo

So strangely today, Acey couldn’t find his target lurking around so… he decided to “practise” on the rest of us. ACEY YOU MORON! ahahah
So yeah.. when we couldn’t stand it anymore,
WE GANGED UP ON HIM AND UNLEASHED OUR VERBAL INSULTS!!

Right from the heads of Kel, Diese, Greg, Harry and I
Copied and pasted from our mass chatroom
(the ones in capitals came from me ^_^)

1.Acey is such a wuss that even puss in boots eyes cant match his wussy eyes
2. ACEY’S SO QUIET THAT HIS VOICEBOX ECHOES WHEN HE BREATHES
3. ACEY IS SO LAME THAT HE WAS ENROLLED IN THE PARALYMPICS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING
4. Acey talks so so much that Oprah Winfrey decided to quit her job
5. ACEY TALKS SO MUCH THAT ALL THE TRANSLATORS GOT LOST IN TRANSLATION
6. ACEY’S SO NOISY THAT GLASS REVERBERATES BEFORE HE SPEAKS

7. ACEY’S SO OLD THAT HE LIVED IN MALAYA BEFORE IT HAD ABORIGINES
8. ACEY’S SO OLD THAT MOTHS STARTED TO BUILD THEIR NEST AROUND HIM
9. ACEY’S SO OLD THAT ALL THE MUSEUM CURATORS LINES UP TO SLEEP WITH HIM
10. ACEY IS SO OLD THAT HE WAS FIRST DISCOVERED IN HYROGLYPHS ON THE EGYPTIAN PYRAMIDS

11. ACEY’S SO BITCHY THAT ALL THE STRAY DOGS STARTS TO SNIFF HIS BEHIND

12. Acey is sooo thin that he needs to iron his sagging skin..
13. Acey’s so thin his bones didnt know where to hide itself
14. Acey’s so thin, his tattoos became a dark black patch
15. Acey’s so thin that he needs a microscope to take a pic of his dick
16. Acey is soooo thin that Miss Aneroxic Universe bows to him
17. Acey is so thin that his nuts looks like sagging boobs
18. ACEY’S SO THIN EVEN MEASURING TAPES WERE CONFUSED WITH THE NEGATIVE DIGITS
19. Acey’s so thin that people thinks he’s an aneroxic bamboo

20. ACEY’S SO SHORT THAT HE USES A FORK AS HIS MEASURING METER
21. ACEY IS SO SHORT HE WAS THE FIRST TO SMELL EVERYONES FEET
22. ACEY IS SO SHORT THAT SUSTAGEN & ENFAGROW RAN OUTTA BUSINESS
23. ACEY IS SO SHORT THAT THE MIDGETS LAUGHED WHENEVER HE WALKED BY
24. ACEY IS SO SHORT HE DOESNT ROLL DICES, HE PUSHES THEM ALONG WHEN HE WALKS
25. ACEY IS SO SHORT THAT HE TRIPS ON EVERY GIRL’S TAMPON STRINGS


edit : and DSX added this for me on MSN
26. xxx is so stupid that when he wanted to get off a motorcycle, he screamed “wheres the door”
27. xxx is so fat when he jumps, he throws the earth out of orbit
28. xxx is so fat that all his/her relationships are long distance
(I DIDN’T KNOW MY STEPSON CAN BE SO MEAN TOO)

COME ON, SHOOT!
anyone of you can think of anymore brilliant ones?
*winks*

WHY?