08/04/2009 – TheJessicat

When I don’t wanna grow up

April 8, 2009 by thejessicat

It’s 2.40am in the morning and I can’t sleep. Believe it or not, my pillow is soaked and I’ve just finished sobbing real hard. Seriously.

A sponge would probably weigh 4kg if it contained all my tears. Yeah, I cried so darn bloody much.

Why? I’ve just finished reading my old blogposts dating all the way back to the year 2005. Not in this blog, of course. It’s in a blog that you’ll never find.. which I started when I was only 16 years old. A lot has changed.. seriously. And reading back every word I said made me recollect bits of my past as a whole.

How life changed and warped its way to who I am at this present time. How a 15+ year old school girl chronicled her life with every written word till the day she stands as a 20 year old young lady she is now.

It’s like a deep travel back into time to watch the morphing process in slow motion. And then I realized, People grow. People change.

And so did I.
Just like all of you.
We’re only human.

I read back those blogposts mentioning that I’ve always wanted to be a communications student, doing journalism and dubbing a bit into graphic designing. And that’s where I am now.

But as a child of 5, I wrote in my diary that I had my mind set on being a veterinarian. At 8 years old, it was imperative that I wanted to be a photographer.

And nothing has changed – except the fact that the whole veterinarian thing was history. LMAO. I’m glad that changed.

BUT also reading back and reminiscing certain nostalgic moments from the past, I somehow wished certain things had never changed. But then again, everything is subject to change. If things never changed… nobody will ever be where they are today. Neither would they endure a whole dimension of experience which they render the most beautiful chapter of life – ever. At all.