Being here in Australia for the past half a year (well, almost) and considerably one of the only Asians within my bunch of mates had led me to see Asian stereotypes in a much clearer picture.

Try being a "victim" of their racist jokes LOL. But rest assure, my mates mean well, after all we do occasionally throw racist remarks around at each other anyway.

 

I never really understood Asian stereotypes previously, but now I do – at my expense, of course! -__-"

So I've compiled a list for no good reason. Here's the ones I recall :

1. You can afford to be cute, 'cos you're Asian.

 

 

So one evening when I was taking a break from final exam revisions, I decided to procrastinate to do something a little more interesting.

Which somehow, led me to play with my hair and I tied up 2 tiny pigtail buns at the top of my head.

The moment I came out to the lounge room looking like that my mates were gushing about how "cute" I looked tonight and one of them said, "Yeah, she can afford to be cute, she's Asian".

 

Right. Thanks.

2. You know the exact moment when the rice is cooked, 'cos you're Asian

 

 

My mates were trying to cook rice for dinner and couldn't tell whether or not if the rice was cooked or ready to be eaten yet.

"Why don't you as ask Jess? She's Asian; she will know"

 

Thanks again.

Try putting it in your mouth instead of asking Jess?

 

3. You must have some herbal remedies/medicines, 'cos you're Asian

 

One of my mates was having a splitting headache and/or cough-flu-fever if I remember correctly

"Go ask Jess for some herbal remedy for your sore throat, she's Asian, she would know"

 

Sorry wrong number, no I don't.

Go swallow a bucket of Strepsils kthxbai.

 

 

4. You might kill me with your kung-fu, 'cos you're Asian

 

 

We were all fooling around one day and were talking about self-defense and martial arts

"Don't piss Jess off, she's Asian and she might kill you with her kung-fu"

 

I may not know kung-fu, but I jolly well know Imma kick you in

the groins if I hear another Asian stereotype

 

 

5. Your eyes must be small and slitty-slanty, 'cos you're Asian.

Long, long time ago when I first arrived all dressed up and fashionably dolled up .. etc, I overheard someone say, "I don't think she's Asian. Asians have black hair… hers is red and her eyes are huge". Firstly, haven't you heard of hair dye?

 

What a wanker. If I don't look Asian, what do I look like? Dumbfug.

 

Also, many a time when my mates and I were randomly talking, about racial heritages, languages or countries and such, I usually get a random remark like this, "You know, Jess. Your eyes are pretty huge for an Asian" Right… thanks a lot.

 

Konzy trying to make me look more Asian than I already am

But but…. I'm NOT your slitty-slanty eyed Asian girl

 

 

6. You must be good at Math, 'cos you're Asian

 

 

My mates and I were at a restaurant eating dinner and we each wanted to calculate how much we were supposed to pay, per person.

What's $78.95 divided by 6? Don't know… "Ask Jess to count, she should be good at it 'cos she's Asian"

 

Look, try a calculator next time?

It sure knows the exact amount, but it isn't Asian.

 

 

7. You must be a spy from Beijing, 'cos you're Asian.

 

Yes because I'm out to get White Capitalist scumbags like you.

 

Watch out, I can see you with my small slit eyes! I will throw chopsticks at you and bury you alive with my MahJong tiles.

All in all, it's funny actually, in the name of a good laugh! Stereotypes are meant to be funny, so laugh at yourselves and think up some White stereotypes to poke back at them the next time you're made fun of

In the meantime, make me a cup of Chinese Tea. Also…

 

BRING HONOUR TO YOUR FAMILY AND MARRY A RICH TYCOON!

Why? Well, simply because… you're Asian.

 

 

This is insane! Out from 9am – 11pm and at least 10 hours of non-stop walking has really taken its toll on me.

I'm maxed out tired to the bone now – resting while transferring photos and blogging this post.

 

Yeahyeah, I know I should probably hit the sack by now but being me, it is imperative that I blog an immediate snippet before the entire blogpost… because who knows, this might take another million years to be up LOL

 

I love my new prezzie! An adorable, furry, soft tigga hat to keep my head warm

 

So anyway! I was at the Melbourne Zoo in Royal Park for almost 5 hours; was impossible to cover every nook and cranny

I reckon it would be safe to say that almost the entire animal kingdom reside within the walls of that zoo

 

From the smallest of insects…..

…to the biggest of animals!

 

My whole afternoon was spent exploring the entire zoo hunting down the animals to take photos of.

I swear felt like Dora the Explorer LOL! But the fact that I'm lacking the binoculars and knapsack doesn't come in the way for I think I made up for it with a big-ass DSLR camera and a slingbag

 

And… the King of the Jungle! (yes, if you're wondering… I was THAT close to Simba here)

It was incredible, better than any zoo I've ever been! Melbourne Zoo is massive and the entire place was an extremely close-to-real-life makeshift rainforest dessert ocean underground grassland antartic tropics aviary all in one.

 

Unlike many *cough* places *cough* that my fellow Malaysians know….

There are certain zoos in particular who mistreat their animals, cooping them up in tiny cages with restricted space to exercise, not cleaning their already miserable cages and drugging them to ensure their benevolence during photo-opportunities.

 

Oh and yes, I know I owe everyone a photo of a kangaroo ever since I set foot in Australia

So… ta-daa! Here it is, shot in the zoo earlier today

 

Plenty more photos of the glorious (and even the unglorious, ugly, often overlooked) members of the animal kingdom to come! I did, as usual, took truckloads of photos.

And the most tedious part is filtering & batch processing them all. Bleh.

 

Headed to the Tutankhamun exhibition after that for another 3 hours!

On the right: a bag of Egyptian souvenirs I bought. On the left: a replica of Tutankhamun's skull

 

Verdict? It was magnificent and we were clearly in awe with everything they had to offer. Everyone was clearly enthused with the displays, footages, ancient relics, hieroglyphs, statues, fragile mummified skeletons,  and the like. More to come, I promise!

 

If you're an avid lover of Egyptian civilization like I am, you'll be star struck.

And now do you still wonder why I had the Eye of Horus tattooed on my left wrist?

 

Good Friday and Easter Sunday has always just been a memorable occasion for me.

Well, we get public hollies and commemorate the resurrection of Christ. What's not to love?

 

But the whole idea of Easter Bunnies & chocolate eggs never really got to me

 

Until I landed in Australia, for my first ever REAL Easter.

Back on University rez, we even had an Easter Egg Hunt game! Anyway, for the week-long Easter Break, I decided to fly to Sydney to sight-see and pay a my extended family a visit

 

And I'm thankful I came; for they gave me the best Easter ever!

 

Chilling with couzzies Sam and Nick before dinner

 

Thanks for picking me up at the city, Krizzy!

 

I was taken away when I first entered their house.

It's beautiful! Have I ever mentioned that I love the architecture and layout of houses in Australia? I've been into some 7 houses now, and it's really different from the ones back in Malaysia.

 

Anyway, spotted a pretty candle holder hanging on the wall!

 

People here actually celebrate Easter.

Most of my friends here were busy with their own family Easter dinners today as well.

 

I simply adore Lindt's Easter Bunny chocolates!

 

On to the foodsies! Prepare for noms ahead.

Not for the hungry I was amazed how we managed to stuff ALL the dishes into our tummies

 

But first, some appetizers & tid-bits before dinner!

Nachos, chick peas, feta cheese, pistachios, cookies and more

 

"Did I hear food? Can I come in too, pretty please?"

 

Dinnertime begins!

We were all helping out with the preparation and plating the food on the dining table

 

Caesar Salad!

 

Spinach & Ricotta Cannelloni!

 

More cheese! Popped it into the oven again LOLOL

 

Potato Au Gratin bake!

 

Roast Lamb!

 

Roast Pork!

 

My uncles took to carving of the roast meat

Yay! And then its time to drizzle the gravy all over

 

 

Easy now, slicing & cutting up the pieces of the pork chunk by chunk

 

Devour the scrumptious delights before they are all gone too soon!

Coincidentally, the 3 of us were wearing black tonight

 

On the dinner table with couzzies Adie & Krizzy

 

Here's my platter

Looks rather messy but who gives a !@#$%? Let's eat!

 

Eating medinner! Want some?

It was a fabulous home-cooked meal… without a doubt!

 

After dinner, we gathered at another table to chill and catch up

T'was so nice to rekindle with all my aunts and uncles again after quite some time.

 

We downed a few shots and neat drinks over our chitchats too

That's the way our family roll, no pansiefansie mixers – nadah!

 

Oh, how I love gathering together and reminiscing lotsa old-times!

 

Yes. I'm talking to you

 

 

After a few hours, it was time for  yummy cake!

Aunt Yi Ling baked us an Apple Tea Crumble for dessert

 

 

It was so good, this time with extra nut & cinnamon toppings!

 

Fancy a slice?

 

with ice-cream to jazz things up? Yes, please

 

Pastry dessert & vanilla ice-cream… delish!

 

It finished rather quickly as you can probably tell!

 

Now, how's this for pretty dessert?

Uncle Danny played around with the food and voila! haha

 

Needless to say, I had a fantastic time with the family.

Here's a piccie of my cousins and I… for the road!

 

Happy Easter 2011 folks!

Much love

 

So!

I had to insert the word 'female' before the word 'strippers' in the title above to avoid confusion. Also, partly because my previous post on strippers were boys – none other than the dashing, erotic and world-famous Chippendales male strippers.

Most of my male readers were remotely disappointed upon learning that they weren't female strippers I was talking about.

But yeah, this time. It pretty much is.

 

But no, it's not us.

Ruby and I were just camwhoring while waiting for the rest to get ready

 

On Ruby's birthday, we decided to go to a strip club downtown Melbourne.

Since I've never been to one before, I thought, "hey, why not. Let's see what this is really like."

 

My gurls and I

 

Let's make this night one to remember!

So we dressed up, dolled up, sharpened up and put our best foot forward before setting off to the city

 

My Ne-Yo and I

 

We headed up to a bar-club first to grab a few drinks, down some shots and dance a few hours away.

Only then will be be smashed enough to rock up at the strip club. (and hopefully enjoy it better)

 

 

At Amber Lounge, along Lonsdale Street

 

Prepare for a night of mayhem!

 

 

It has been a long, long, LONG time since I've ever danced up high on the podium… letting go of everything with no reservations, feeling liberated, carefree and letting my hair down. Girls just want to have fun!

 

In Ozzieland, people don't really give a a rats ass about extreme things; but instead, came up to join us.

 

Tequila shots shots shots shots shots shots shots… EVERYBODY!

 

 

Keep downing drinks like this~
Not tomorrow that just right now, now, now, now, now, now~

Gonna set the roof on fire~

 

Also, I made a short video of us skulling our shots

 

Happy Birthday Ruby Hope you had a blast

 

Oh and.. we were in for some nasty fun later… ready?

(Ok oddly enough, we kinda look naked in the above photo)

 

Anyway, no photography was allowed in Dreams Gentlemens Club.

But if you've been reading me long enough, clearly, I have never given a rats ass about this reg in particular And I'm technically a tourist, what better reason to introduce new things to my peeps back home?

 

So, out comes the sneaky stealth-like photos!

 

 

But surely, you can't expect photos of perfect quality when a tipsy girl is

  taking Blackberry photos in hush-hush, can you?

 

 

Besides, I didn't want them to be recognized nor blow their identity

I just wanted to show you a teeny bit of what I've experienced for the 1st time

 

If you want more, why not visit Dreams yourself?

 

We were there for some 3 good hours

And since it was her birthday, Ruby deserved a private lap-dance!

 

 

They were really professional, without a doubt

A no-kissing policy on this stage too, methinks

 

It also reminds me of the movies where men would slit cash in their underwear. Hot!

 

And that's not all! Here's the sneaky video that the birthday girl Ruby shot on her cellphone

 

Blurry but you can still make out the silhouette of the naked chick doing her thang

 

We hope you enjoyed your private strip dance, Ruby!

haha and here's me putting on a ridiculous cock-eyed-doll-eyed look for the fun of it

 

 

Thank God the week is done~
I feel like a zombie gone back to life~
 back, back to life~

 

Hands up, and suddenly we all got our hands up~
No control of my body~

 

 

Ain’t I seen you before?
I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes~

 

 

Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again~
Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again~
So dance, dance, like it’s the last, last night of your life~

 

 

Gonna get you right~
Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again~

Keep downing drinks like this~
Not tomorrow that just right now, now, now, now, now, now~

 

Skull it! rar rar rar!

 

Happy Birthday again, Ruby. We're glad you were smashed haha!

 

By the wee hours of the morning, we have had enough and halted our night to an end

 

Another one of my weekend nights well spent. It's almost therapeutic to let loose some steam especially after enduring weekdays after days of hard knocks. I thrive on parties of any kind. It rejuvenates me to tackle the week ahead!

 

I'm sure Obama will be proud! (or… not?)

 

After my weekend is said and done in the city, Sunday evenings are usually spent speeding back

to Churchill, Gippsland where I belong for the week LOL

 

Kon and I heading back home to Gippy, all aboard the V-Line train.

 

"All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy"

Or in this case, "makes Jess a dull girl". So now that I have had my dosage of fun, it's back to business and in all seriousness, 2nd round of studies and assignments begins NOW.

Pronto!